Silence
by my lips are cherry scented
Summary: [oneshot]In a place where you think people don't understand why you feel as certain way, you wonder if it's okay to let go. [Onesided Minx x Zakuro] [onesided Retasu x Mint]. You don't like shojoai don't read.


**Author's Note: **This only going to be a one shot unless anyone wants me to continue this story. I really just wrote this because it was really in my head and I just wondered about Minto and how she admired Zakuro and then about some of the people who like the couple Minto/Lettuce. It'll just be one-sided love for everyone in this fic unless like I said someone wants me to continue the story _okay_. And on another note I do not like flamers. I believe that flamers are pathetic and have nothing else to do but tear down people about their fanfiction. I will accept constructive criticism because they give good reasoning and how I can improve on something as well as my positives. Or if you want to praise me for writing this it will also be accepted. I might revise if someone recommends me to.

Now on to the story.

* * *

I heard the news that Zakuro died while I was drinking my afternoon tea and asking Ichigo to work harder since I didn't like working that much really and I slightly disliked Ichigo. The news had hit me hard like a hammer when I heard it buzzing in my ears of course all the other mews were as grief stricken as me but I still took it the hardest.

She was like an older sister to the mews and I admired_ everything about_ her. The way her long purple hair glisten within the moonlight, the way she danced like a heavenly angel on top of a cloud, the way she could speak different languages, and I really liked her body. I would have pictures of Zakuro and look at them many times before anyone could actually see that I did look at her once too many or that they may think I'm bent.

Well it's true; I had a crush on Zakuro.

I was planning to tell her they day of her death. After we had gotten off of work I was just pour my heart out with multiple "I love you"s and talk about which parts of her I really did like. Then she would say that she loved me back and that she had secretly love _me_ as well. But then reality hit.

_She had a boyfriend._

It haunted me that she would have a boyfriend while I could just dream about being with her and longing to be her's while she was someone else's. That really explained why I had a dull ache within my heart every time she would walk by and say hello to me. She didn't know how much I really loved her or how much I wish her boyfriend could go to hell.

So when he stopped by to give his condolences, I threw up in my mouth a little.

I was still frustrated with the fact that she had a boyfriend and that she didn't understand how much I really loved her. I was frustrated at the boyfriend at getting to be with Zakuro. But mostly I was frustrated at myself at how I could burden a secret so deep that I couldn't tell even I wanted to because she's flying with the angels up in heaven.

Even though the crash isn't my fault as I begin to realize, for a period time I thought it was. When most of the mews were trying to cope with the loss, I actually couldn't. It had felt like that I had died a little inside since Zakuro was a part of me in my head despite the fact that she couldn't understand how much I had loved her or how I felt about her being with her boyfriend . I didn't work really anymore and I was more passive to what the others were doing or saying. I didn't drink tea at twelve anymore, instead I just went out for a walk to gaze at Zakuro's grave and place flowers on top of it. One time I almost said "I love you." to the grave but then I thought to myself that graves couldn't hear, couldn't think, couldn't see so I had just stayed silent.

The others really didn't understand how I was feeling, that I had unrequited love for Zakuro.

Well except _her_.

Retasu was the only person who had tried to comfort me to the extent I could tell her anything.

But I just really couldn't at the time.

Not really right at the time I had felt extra crappy and guilty.

She had always given me a shoulder to cry on after Zakuro's death. She was the first person who asked me if I was feeling okay. She was the first person that I could actually trust with my feelings after the death.

Retasu had understood somewhat of why I had acted like this. She had come to the conclusion that I had loved her like an older sister and since I had never had any older sisters or since my older brother was away for his studies, I really took it the hardest. Well Retasu had part of it right but not everything. She still didn't understand that I had admired Zakuro as more than a sister, more than a friend, more than a team member.

But Retasu didn't have to know yet.

However when she wasn't talking to me she was still painfully shy Retasu. She still kept to herself and she continued trying to work despite the fact that she was as clumsy as she usually was. Retasu looked like that she didn't have a crush on Ryou anymore and was focused more on work really. She still tried her best to make the best of a horrible situation.

Unlike me.

I still really wanted to tell Retasu how I really felt about Zakuro and why I took the death even deeper than the others but still in my head like the other times I decided not to tell her.

Soon during the hour of twelve, Retasu began going to the graves with me to look at Zakuro's tombstone and just have a moment of silence for Zakuro, the idol, the mew mew, the person whom I adored. She didn't question why I did this but instead she just wanted to come as well and I began to wonder as well.

Together we both found solace with each other at the graves and during the times we spent together outside of the graves and Cafe Mew Mew. We both began to feel safe with each other and we began to bond together as sisters and soon I had felt like Zakuro's accident wasn't my fault but yet I was still angry at myself for not telling Zakuro that I had loved her.

One day Retasu and I went to the graves a little later than usual and we just looked at gazed at Zakuro's tombstone and Retasu said something that I still wondered how such a shy girl had so much to this day.

"Minto, I...I...I well I love."

Not understanding what she had meant I had said, "I love you too."

Retasu just nodded and said, "Minto, you really don't understand do you? I love you a whole lot and I always dream about you. I especially love your eyes and your hair. I loved the way that you can be much more graceful than me."

When I had heard those words, I turned my whole body around. Retasu had loved me as much as I had loved Zakuro but that could really explain why she didn't talk about Ryou anymore as much as she used to. _But why me? _I had thought. I had loved and worshiped Zakuro the first time I looked at one of my pictures and a girl who was supposedly straight loved me.

She walked towards me and bowed many times while saying, "I'm so sorry Minto, I really didn't mean to but well I just love you and it hurts me how you felt over Zakuro's death and how I had a pain in my heart when I thought about you."

"Well... it flatters me how you love me Retasu but I only love Zakuro." I said hesitantly.

"You love Zakuro?" Retasu asked me.

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before but that's why I felt so forlorn. I felt guilty for the accident, that it was my fault since I never told anyone that I was in love Zakuro. I didn't mean to disappoint you."

"Well it's okay." She said as a weak smile crept on her face.

Then we held hands and looked at her grave once again.

Now or days I still feel guilty but I am beginning to understand that I just can't blame myself for a thing I didn't even witness at all. I now understand that feelings I have towards people cannot be bottled up until the near end. Retasu and I are still friends despite the fact that our desires are still burning for a person we can't get.

Retasu unintentionally helped me.

Now I feel a little better not to the point that I can forget about the death but to the point I feel whole once more.


End file.
